Fathers and Finances

In my life, my father is a huge figure in my life. My dad has shown me how to work hard, and how to sacrifice your wants and sometimes needs in order to provide for your family. My parents are both immigrants. Although they didn’t choose to come to the United States, this is the life that was forced unto them by my step-grandfather. Although it was a huge sacrifice, my mother stayed home and raised her children while my dad worked. Looking back, I am extremely grateful that my dad saw the importance of having my mom be a stay at home mom. He worked hard so my mom didn’t have to. I’m the youngest member of my family with two older brothers. My mom didn’t start working until I was 16 years old. She worked as an interpreter for hospitals which meant she got to choose her own hours. I was diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder) and anxiety when I was in 6^th grade. Since my brothers were out of the house by that time, I relied on my mom. She became my best friend and helped me through the toughest of times. My dad was also there for me as a priesthood holder to give me a blessing whenever I needed them. He comforted me as a father would. My father did his part by being the provider in my family, by protecting my family, but also by comforting me when I needed it. My dad is the best storyteller. He would always make up an adventurous story for me from when I was young up until I was a teenager. That’s something for mom, but for dad. My dad uses jokes to comfort me to make me laugh because he believes that laughing cures the soul. But he also let me cry. He was always worried about me and made sure I was taking my medication because it hurt him to see me sad all the time, he wanted me to get better. He almost never told me to toughen up, but he let me cry and he hugged me. I think that’s one of the reasons I love affection because my family gave me so much affection and showed me so much, love. I will forever be grateful for my dad and moms decision to follow the prophets council to have the father be the main provider.

There was a research study done of a young family. The father made around $45,000 per year and the mother was a stay at home mom taking care of her children full time. The mother wanted to start working so they could have more money to provide for their children. The mother made about $20,000 The mom wanted her son to play soccer and felt that more money would make that easier. As the mom worked, the families expenses started increasing as well. They started eating out a lot more because mom and dad didn’t have time to cook, it was easier and faster. They had to pay for babysitters and daycare, purchase of a new car, gas as well as for other expenses. The researchers hired an accountant from one of the big four accounting firms. This accountant tracked the revenue of the family (income-expenses) and found that the family actually lost money and ended up with $41,000. This mother lost time and opportunities with her children and asked herself if it was worth it.

In addition, talking about who is managing money before marriage is extremely important. Elder Marvin J. Ashton in his talk One for the Money explained 

In the home, money management between husband and wife should be on a partnership basis, with both parties having a voice in decision and policy making. When children come along and reach the age of accountability, they, too, should be involved in money concerns on a limited-partnership basis. Peace, contentment, love, and security in the home are not possible when financial anxieties and bickerings prevail. Whether we are anticipating marriage or are well into it, today is the time for all of us to review and repent as necessary to improve our 

money-management skills and live within our means.

In my marriage, I want to be proficient in managing money and I believe that it should not be up to one spouse, but as a partnership and eventually as a family.